Wow! I can't believe the summer is coming to an end and it is time to once again turn my focus to school and the new year ahead. I can't lie though and say I am sorry. This summer has been a rough one full of doctors appointments, rough days/nights, and too many needles. I am thankful for a wonderful doctor, who prays for me and has left no stone unturned in looking for why I am sick and finding the best treatment plan. I am also blessed to be a part of a church family and community of friends who have been surrounding me in prayers during this whole process. I am not one who likes to talk about the private things going on in my life, so as uncomfortable as it has been for me to talk about it and let other people in, it has been a blessing.
So what is on the horizon? Great things I know. I am scheduled for surgery on the 24th. Most of the details are still unknown and probably won't be known until she can actually "see what is going on". I am not worried though because I know that God will be there and the end result will make me feel better. Besides that, I am excited to jump right back in to school improvement, preparing for my new students, and of course starting more grad classes. My only real concern is the recovery process because this is one of the busiest times of year for me, but my plan is to prepare ahead of time for my school committments and trust that God will take care of the rest. Between the peace and energy God can give and the supportive love of my husband and family. This season will pass and at the end, we will be able to see how God used this time to make us all stronger.
Friday, August 12, 2011
Sunday, July 17, 2011
27 and Wierd
I think it is fitting around your birthday to do some reflecting on the last year and everything that has happened as well as set some goals for the upcoming year. This last year has beenvery tough emotionally, physically and mentally but some really amazing things have happened as well. I graduated with my Master's, took on some new responsibilites at work, started my Specialist degree, went to Harry Potter World with the hubbs and Vegas with dear friends, spent quality time with family and friends, became more involved with ministry at church, learned I can and enjoy baking, and made some healthy choices by starting WW. Next year, I hope to keep the momentum of positivity started at church by continuing to work with both the children and young adult ministries. At work, I hope to become even more dedicated to my craft of teaching and become a better mediator of my responsibilites in and out of the classroom. I hope to keep working on my Specialist degree, sticking with the WW and taking time to enjoy baking, reading and spending time with family and friends. Before my next birthday, I hope to have run in a road race, crocheted my first blanket, and maybe even get a second tattoo!
But most of all...I am praying for God to give me the courage to be WIERD; to do things different and break the status-quo. I am tired of being held captive by the why me's and why not's of this earthly world. I have allowed fear, bitterness, and anger to consume parts of my heart. But over this next year, I want to take those parts back and give them to God. In Romans we read "Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is-- his good, pleasing and perfect will."
During my 26th year, I spent too much time thinking about why some things weren't happening for me like for everyone else; why Kevin and I were facing such hard times. Well the answer is that the tough times make you stronger and they have united Kevin and I in a unique way. So during my 27th year, I want to stop comparing myself to others, claim God's plan for my life, and believe that Jesus will serve as my strength to be WIERD enough to walk through it all.
But most of all...I am praying for God to give me the courage to be WIERD; to do things different and break the status-quo. I am tired of being held captive by the why me's and why not's of this earthly world. I have allowed fear, bitterness, and anger to consume parts of my heart. But over this next year, I want to take those parts back and give them to God. In Romans we read "Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is-- his good, pleasing and perfect will."
During my 26th year, I spent too much time thinking about why some things weren't happening for me like for everyone else; why Kevin and I were facing such hard times. Well the answer is that the tough times make you stronger and they have united Kevin and I in a unique way. So during my 27th year, I want to stop comparing myself to others, claim God's plan for my life, and believe that Jesus will serve as my strength to be WIERD enough to walk through it all.
Tuesday, June 7, 2011
Burning Bush in the middle of a Busy Day
It is the end of the year and chaos has begun. One more full day of school, three days of exams (and grading exams), finishing final grades, cleaning the classroom, pacing guide prep for new 8th grade class, presenting 2 days with a fellow (fabulous) colleague, finishing out my School Improvement responsibilities and reports and then starting my summer job. PLUS, I am finishing one class (2 final assignments), just starting another class which means I will be driving to Mt. Pleasant for class and we might be watching our nieces for a week (final plans are still in the air)!!!! Oh my goodness. The to do list keeps getting longer and my hair will probably start falling out any day now. Amidst it all, God slowed me down long enough to quiet my heart and give me a message of hope.
Today, my DOCTOR, not a nurse but my actual DOCTOR, called me to check up and see how I was doing. She explained the next steps, answered my questions and made a plan for me. I think she could hear in my voice my real answer although "Okay, yep, I'm fine" is what came out. That is when she shared too that she has been in my shoes, knows the thoughts in my head and heart and asked me "Do you have faith?" I know this must be a hard question for someone who really knows nothing about me beyond the facts in my chart because she definitely stumbled on it before it finally came out of her mouth. I answered, "Yes, I have faith." She told me to hold on to that faith and that she would be including me in her prayers. I could barely get off the phone before I was on my knees with tears in my eyes (big shock, I know) thanking God for this message. This burning bush in the middle of a busy day.
I know I will never understand all the pieces of my life until one day when I am talking face to face with my Savior but moments like these make it easier to get through the hard times.
Today, my DOCTOR, not a nurse but my actual DOCTOR, called me to check up and see how I was doing. She explained the next steps, answered my questions and made a plan for me. I think she could hear in my voice my real answer although "Okay, yep, I'm fine" is what came out. That is when she shared too that she has been in my shoes, knows the thoughts in my head and heart and asked me "Do you have faith?" I know this must be a hard question for someone who really knows nothing about me beyond the facts in my chart because she definitely stumbled on it before it finally came out of her mouth. I answered, "Yes, I have faith." She told me to hold on to that faith and that she would be including me in her prayers. I could barely get off the phone before I was on my knees with tears in my eyes (big shock, I know) thanking God for this message. This burning bush in the middle of a busy day.
I know I will never understand all the pieces of my life until one day when I am talking face to face with my Savior but moments like these make it easier to get through the hard times.
Monday, June 6, 2011
Ministry of Music
So this morning, once again, I was ministered to by the music on KLove. I have been really struggling the past few days and the first song I heard when I got in the car was "Stronger" by Mandisa. The words fit EXACTLY with where I was. Perfectly. During my prayer time this morning, I wrote "Honestly, God I am angry with you. You hear my heart, you see my brokenness, and still you stay away. I am tired of preaching faith in a loving God, when I feel you have deserted me. God, where are you? Don't you see I need you? Why have you put me here?" The lyrics of the song brought me to tears (no surprise there) but how refreshing to feel like God is listening to my desperate and angry prayers after all.
Lyrics to Stronger :
Lyrics to Stronger :
Hey, heard you were up all night
Thinking about how your world ain't right
And you wonder if things will ever get better
And you're asking why is it always raining on you
When all you want is just a little good news
Instead of standing there stuck out in the weather
Oh, don't hang your head
It's gonna end
God's right there
Even if it's hard to see Him
I promise you that He still cares
When the waves are taking you under
Hold on just a little bit longer
He knows that this is gonna make you stronger, stronger
The pain ain't gonna last forever
And things can only get better
Believe me
This is gonna make you stronger
Gonna make you stronger, stronger, stronger
Believe me, this is gonna make you ...
Try and do the best you can
Hold on and let Him hold your hand
And go on and fall into the arms of Jesus
Oh, lift your head it's gonna end
God's right there
Even when you just can't feel Him
I promise you that He still cares
'Cause if He started this work in your life
He will be faithful to complete it
If only you believe it
He knows how much it hurts
And I'm sure that He's gonna help you get through this
When the waves are taking you under
Hold on just a little bit longer
He knows that this is gonna make you stronger, stronger
The pain ain't gonna last forever
In time it's gonna get better
Believe me
This is gonna make you stronger
Thinking about how your world ain't right
And you wonder if things will ever get better
And you're asking why is it always raining on you
When all you want is just a little good news
Instead of standing there stuck out in the weather
Oh, don't hang your head
It's gonna end
God's right there
Even if it's hard to see Him
I promise you that He still cares
When the waves are taking you under
Hold on just a little bit longer
He knows that this is gonna make you stronger, stronger
The pain ain't gonna last forever
And things can only get better
Believe me
This is gonna make you stronger
Gonna make you stronger, stronger, stronger
Believe me, this is gonna make you ...
Try and do the best you can
Hold on and let Him hold your hand
And go on and fall into the arms of Jesus
Oh, lift your head it's gonna end
God's right there
Even when you just can't feel Him
I promise you that He still cares
'Cause if He started this work in your life
He will be faithful to complete it
If only you believe it
He knows how much it hurts
And I'm sure that He's gonna help you get through this
When the waves are taking you under
Hold on just a little bit longer
He knows that this is gonna make you stronger, stronger
The pain ain't gonna last forever
In time it's gonna get better
Believe me
This is gonna make you stronger
Hey, heard you were up all night
Thinking about how your world ain't right
And you wonder if things will ever get better
And you're asking why is it always raining on you
When all you want is just a little good news
Instead of standing there stuck out in the weather
Oh, don't hang your head
It's gonna end
God's right there
Even if it's hard to see Him
I promise you that He still cares
When the waves are taking you under
Hold on just a little bit longer
He knows that this is gonna make you stronger, stronger
The pain ain't gonna last forever
And things can only get better
Believe me
This is gonna make you stronger
Gonna make you stronger, stronger, stronger
Believe me, this is gonna make you ...
Try and do the best you can
Hold on and let Him hold your hand
And go on and fall into the arms of Jesus
Oh, lift your head it's gonna end
God's right there
Even when you just can't feel Him
I promise you that He still cares
'Cause if He started this work in your life
He will be faithful to complete it
If only you believe it
He knows how much it hurts
And I'm sure that He's gonna help you get through this
When the waves are taking you under
Hold on just a little bit longer
He knows that this is gonna make you stronger, stronger
The pain ain't gonna last forever
In time it's gonna get better
Believe me
This is gonna make you stronger
Thinking about how your world ain't right
And you wonder if things will ever get better
And you're asking why is it always raining on you
When all you want is just a little good news
Instead of standing there stuck out in the weather
Oh, don't hang your head
It's gonna end
God's right there
Even if it's hard to see Him
I promise you that He still cares
When the waves are taking you under
Hold on just a little bit longer
He knows that this is gonna make you stronger, stronger
The pain ain't gonna last forever
And things can only get better
Believe me
This is gonna make you stronger
Gonna make you stronger, stronger, stronger
Believe me, this is gonna make you ...
Try and do the best you can
Hold on and let Him hold your hand
And go on and fall into the arms of Jesus
Oh, lift your head it's gonna end
God's right there
Even when you just can't feel Him
I promise you that He still cares
'Cause if He started this work in your life
He will be faithful to complete it
If only you believe it
He knows how much it hurts
And I'm sure that He's gonna help you get through this
When the waves are taking you under
Hold on just a little bit longer
He knows that this is gonna make you stronger, stronger
The pain ain't gonna last forever
In time it's gonna get better
Believe me
This is gonna make you stronger
Saturday, May 7, 2011
Lyrics of our hearts...
For those that don't know, Kevin and I have had a really rough few months. We feel like we are following God's plan for our lives but each opportunity seems to be met by another obstacle. At our wedding, almost five years ago, this was the first song we danced to as man and wife. Now, years later, the lyrics just seem to meet our hearts exactly where we are.
I'm finding myself at a loss for words
And the funny thing is it's okay
The last thing I need is to be heard
But to hear what You would say
Word of God speak
Would You pour down like rain
Washing my eyes to see
Your majesty
To be still and know
That You're in this place
Please let me stay and rest
In Your holiness
Word of God speak
I'm finding myself in the midst of You
Beyond the music, beyond the noise
All that I need is to be with You
And in the quiet hear Your voice
God...speak to us...let us hear your voice and feel your embrace. Use your Holy Word to minister to our hearts and bind us closer together with you and each other.
I'm finding myself at a loss for words
And the funny thing is it's okay
The last thing I need is to be heard
But to hear what You would say
Word of God speak
Would You pour down like rain
Washing my eyes to see
Your majesty
To be still and know
That You're in this place
Please let me stay and rest
In Your holiness
Word of God speak
I'm finding myself in the midst of You
Beyond the music, beyond the noise
All that I need is to be with You
And in the quiet hear Your voice
God...speak to us...let us hear your voice and feel your embrace. Use your Holy Word to minister to our hearts and bind us closer together with you and each other.
Sunday, March 13, 2011
Way over due!!
Can't believe it has been almost a month since I have posted something on my blog! Over the last month, I have finished my 30 days with Jesus study, applied to to go back to school (YES, AGAIN) and dove head first in to the School Improvement Team responsibilities. I have had opportunities to hang at home with the hubbs watching Bones, movies, and working on our puzzle, gone to trivia night and seminar with friends, and took a day trip with my BFF to Saginaw. At school, we have finished State testing, grades for Marking Period 4 and Spring Break is in sight. PHEW--- What a month!!!!
Wednesday, February 16, 2011
Pure love...
As a hopeless romantic, I can say that Valentine's Day is a favorite time of year for me. I love seeing all the cards, flowers, and candy lining the aisles of stores. But is that all Valentine's Day should be? A time to do and say all the things that we really should be saying everyday of the year? I hope not.
There is a song on the radio that talks about true love. JJ Heller sings about a pure love that is not polluted by earthly views of beauty, materialism, or a record of rights versus wrongs. This is the kind of love we should be celebrating on Valentine's Day; this kind of love is pure passion.
He cries in the corner where nobody sees
He’s the kid with the story no one would believe
He prays every night, “Dear God won’t you please
Could you send someone here who will love me?”
Who will love me for me
Not for what I have done or what I will become
Who will love me for me
‘Cause nobody has shown me what love
What love really means
Her office is shrinking a little each day
She’s the woman whose husband has run away
She’ll go to the gym after working today
Maybe if she was thinner
Then he would’ve stayed
And she says…
Who will love me for me?
Not for what I have done or what I will become
Who will love me for me?
‘Cause nobody has shown me what love, what love really means
He’s waiting to die as he sits all alone
He’s a man in a cell who regrets what he’s done
He utters a cry from the depths of his soul
“Oh Lord, forgive me, I want to go home”
Then he heard a voice somewhere deep inside
And it said
“I know you’ve murdered and I know you’ve lied
I have watched you suffer all of your life
And now that you’ll listen, I’ll tell you that I...”
I will love you for you
Not for what you have done or what you will become
I will love you for you
I will give you the love
The love that you never knew
There is a song on the radio that talks about true love. JJ Heller sings about a pure love that is not polluted by earthly views of beauty, materialism, or a record of rights versus wrongs. This is the kind of love we should be celebrating on Valentine's Day; this kind of love is pure passion.
He cries in the corner where nobody sees
He’s the kid with the story no one would believe
He prays every night, “Dear God won’t you please
Could you send someone here who will love me?”
Who will love me for me
Not for what I have done or what I will become
Who will love me for me
‘Cause nobody has shown me what love
What love really means
Her office is shrinking a little each day
She’s the woman whose husband has run away
She’ll go to the gym after working today
Maybe if she was thinner
Then he would’ve stayed
And she says…
Who will love me for me?
Not for what I have done or what I will become
Who will love me for me?
‘Cause nobody has shown me what love, what love really means
He’s waiting to die as he sits all alone
He’s a man in a cell who regrets what he’s done
He utters a cry from the depths of his soul
“Oh Lord, forgive me, I want to go home”
Then he heard a voice somewhere deep inside
And it said
“I know you’ve murdered and I know you’ve lied
I have watched you suffer all of your life
And now that you’ll listen, I’ll tell you that I...”
I will love you for you
Not for what you have done or what you will become
I will love you for you
I will give you the love
The love that you never knew
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